It’s been another long while since I’ve posted on this blog. And
there is a very simple reason for this. I have been going through a
major transitional period. Not just with life, but mentally as well. Me
and my family have officially moved to a very rural area of
Massachusetts, which is a far cry from the semi-urban/suburban lifestyle
I have grown up in since I was born. And the last
house/apartment/duplex we have lived in was for almost exactly 19 years.
When we moved there, I was only 12. Now I don’t even want to go into
what my age is even though it can easily be found on my twitter page or
other things like adding up 19 and 12 lol, but this move officially
happened two weeks ago and some change. Before that, for two plus
months, there have been non-stop, back-and-forth trips from our old
house to our new house moving our stuff into it by ourselves in our
small, single Ford Explorer. When I say non-stop, I literally mean three
trips a day, nearly every day a week with me doing all of the carrying
in and out of the trunk. And given how much I have been drifting apart
from my parents, especially my dad, these trips were indeed intense.
But here’s the thing. This was and is all for something I have wanted
for the longest time. In fact, shortly after starting this blog, I had
brought up how I needed to live more independently. I remember even
writing about that in here early on. But as time went by and we took the
first step in having me apply for Social Security Benefits which I, out
of pure luck, ended up getting approved for early this year, we started
looking for houses that were bigger, more spacious and where I could
have an entire floor to myself, like an apartment. All with my family
actually saving more money as opposed to losing it because of the house
location. And with all that, I would have my own income while doing the
meaningful work I do that doesn’t qualify in society as “a job” because
it doesn’t come with a paycheck. But anyway, the move happened and
things have slowed down considerably. I am happier than I have been in a
long-ass time, which is huge. And I have been uploading a LOT of
self-made mixtapes at a much faster rate than ever before. Me and my
therapist have been digging deeper and deeper in my triggers and
flashbacks that come out of nowhere over little things other people
would never suspect to be a problem. We have added on my bipolar
symptoms along with my PTSD symptoms which combined have helped us make
more sense out of how my mind spirals from time to time and what causes
that to happen. Not to mention my autistic traits, specifically my
photographic memory, which make my PTSD react much, much easier and
quicker than someone who would not share these traits.
I am gonna elaborate on this a lot more in a second part of this post
which will hopefully be published sooner than I expect it to be (I
won’t jinx it). In the meantime, I have a link here to an episode of a
podcast called “Ditch The Mask”, a mental health advocacy series hosted
by an amazing person I connected with on twitter a few months ago. This
episode is audio of her interviewing me about why mentally I have worn a
mask for many years and what gave me the courage to finally remove it
to the world. The video version of it will be uploaded to YouTube soon
and the link for that will be included in my next post. Anyway,
definitely give it a listen along with the other episodes in this
important series…
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/season-2-episode-2-ditch-the-mask-campaign-with-sam-dailey/id1437079182?i=1000446500221
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